Me and a buddy took our machines on an overland trip to an area where the trail system was to be flooded. A new dam had been built and in two days these trails would never be ridden again. We made a deal with some locals to drive our truck and trailer to a destination at the end of the run. Met them at this house in the middle of nowhere and they were a strange group. Had a kid that could pick a mean guitar though and as we were negotiating I heard him picking Man of Constant Sorrow. I started belting out the lyrics and before you know it they were all hootin' and hollerin', jumping around doing the jitterbug and stuff. They offered us some meat that they had on the grill but I didn't know what it was and politely declined. We unloaded the machines and hit the trail.
Covered a good distance the first day and slept like babies that night. The next day we were making good time until me and my buddy got separated. I doubled back to look for him, figured he stopped to take a dump or something. I came around a curve and saw my buddy (don't want to give his real name so we'll just call him Thad for the story) on all fours in his underwear, rutting around and squealing like a pig while being held at gunpoint by some inbred looking dude. I ducked down and drove right at the guy. I heard bullets ricocheting off the machine until I hit him. Thad jumped up and starting beating the hell out of him but I had a better idea. We tied him to the nerf bars and dragged him through the woods until the rope broke. We were hammer down and almost out of there until we were stopped and surrounded by inbred's. They had a couple ropes thrown over the trees and around our necks when all of a sudden a wave of water came rushing in and swept us all away. While waving and kicking for the surface I could see all the beef jerky and peanut M&M's I had packed floating around so I knew I was close to my machine. When I made it to the top I saw Old Ironsides floating nearby. Don't know if it's the oversized tires or the buoyancy of the nerfs but something keeps it afloat. Made my way over to it and started paddling with my foldable shovel. I heard what sounded like snorting and saw Thad up on a barn roof so I picked him up and we made it to the truck and trailer and got the hell out of there.
We made a pact to never tell anyone about it but I know I can trust you guys. When I got home and was fixing the bullet holes in the machine I noticed some gold showing through on one of the nerfs, thought I chipped it real bad. Turns out it was a gold tooth stuck in it, but guess the inbred won't be needing that anymore. 😏
Btw, got my ass chewed when I got home for losing my wedding ring on the trip. Sleeping on the couch until I go find it.